I recently completed a rowing training camp and while the whole experience was fantastic, it was an unpleasant experience that really opened my eyes to the statement “Everyone is watching, all the time...”.

The second day opened like the first; cold, a few degrees above freezing, perfect flat water and fog.  We all started out for our morning training piece. About half way down the course length I experienced a momentary mental lapse and found myself in the water.  The water was cold (8-10C), the shock was sharp but remembering old trainings, I hoisted myself over the hull of the boat and waited for the launch.

I was fortunate the launch was close by and I was out of the cold water in a few minutes, but my morning session was done.  For the rest of the day I was embarrassed and self-conscious of my mistake.  As the remaining days passed without further incident, the good-natured ribbing took over and the teaching potential faded.  Or so I thought.

The final learning lesson was delivered during the drive home.  When I flipped I had been rowing a short distance behind a friend. Once I went into the water, my thoughts were, as would be expected, firmly focused on me. My friend made the remark as we drove home: “I don’t know how you got back in a boat in the afternoon, I don’t think I could have.”  He then went on to talk about how, after watching me flip, he saw me being pulled into the launch and returning to the dock.  He went to explain how self-conscious he became about making a mistake.  He became hyper aware of everything and found it tricky to get back into the groove.

His remarks struck me, as I had not considered how others perceived the flip at all, other than from a selfish point of view.

We are all being observed all the time, by friends, by family, and by our co-workers.

This is the point. We are all being observed all the time, by friends, by family, and by our co-workers.  This is not a big brother kind of creepy observation, but just normal everyday life.  A child is watching their parents or teachers; workers are watching their co-workers and managers.  How we act and react have impacts that we rarely perceive.  This is valid in routine everyday life and especially true in high-pressure situations.

The observed action or conversation can have a much wider impact than we ever realize.  I had no idea of the impact my flipping my boat and getting back on the water in the afternoon had on others, but quite unintentionally I had set an example of behavior that demonstrated the positive elements of not accepting the dunking as a failure but getting back in the boat and trying again.  

This is equally true around how organizations and business define their culture.  The “values” words hanging on walls are just nice words, if the behaviors are not first lived by the executives.  The employees watch the executives and adjust their behaviors accordingly.  

Whether in meeting rooms, offices or classrooms, leaders have the choice to live the values or make them just an "old wall hanging".  Berating children, students or employees for not living up to defined values when your actions demonstrate your own lack in belief in the values is pointless, counter productive and only succeeds in deepening the feeling of cynicism.

What is frighteningly simple is the antidote to the cynicism; it doesn’t cost extra money or any grand ‘awareness’ campaigns.  It requires no words, but does require action.  It is really living the values that are defined as important to the organization.  

Bob Chapmen in his recent book Everyone Matters sums it up nicely; “Culture is a huge flywheel: If you’re willing to be patient and stay true to the vision, you’ll eventually see results both culturally and financially. But it takes time to build up momentum and get up to speed. Patience requires the ability to see beyond the immediate to the greater opportunity that our vision promises.”

Everyone IS watching; if you have the courage to live your values it will be noticed by your friends, families and organizations.  The process must start from the top, and the road to undo years of cynicism takes time, with patience and consistency it does happen.